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Tidbits from the Accident-Prone Bee Lady on Bee-ing Unlucky

April 16, 2018 - Tiffany Larson
Most people can think of at least one friend who seems to stumble over everything, and constantly injures themselves. In my social circles, I am THAT friend. I am not saying that I am the unluckiest person in history. I realize that the world is full of people struggling and battling far worse illnesses and issues than me. I have just come to the conclusion that I am THAT one in a million person that may actually be cursed. I can’t help but stop and wonder if my series of unfortunate, and yet humorous, events are the result of breaking a mirror, crossing paths with a black cat, walking under one too many ladders, or some other urban legend. Is there someone out there that has constructed a voodoo doll with my name on it? Is karma seeking revenge for something that I did prior to my frontal lobe finishing it’s development? Whatever it is, external or internal forces, I have designated myself as the accident-prone busy bee-lady, and am about 80% sure that I am identified by others as the ultimate klutz.

On March thirteenth I celebrated thirty-eight awesome years of life. For as long as I can remember, I have had a love-hate relationship with gravity. I often refer to the black cloud hovering over me as comic relief in life for myself, and the benefit of others. I had a friend recently send me a meme that said, “my bruises and scars tell a story…it’s a story of a woman who is really very clumsy.” I laughed when I first saw it. In fact, I hysterically belly-laughed for a solid five minutes. This is not the first meme I have received from friends and family focused around the theme of clumsiness. It is actually amazing how many of these humorous images and videos being circulated around the internet are shared with me, and that I find to be so darn relatable. The meme reassured me that I may have a bit too much knowledge on this particular topic.

Those that follow me personally on social media have the pleasure of reading all about my clumsy and random unlucky tidbits. One day I may share about slipping in the mud, the next day it may be about tripping over some kind of farm critter. How many can say that they received a concussion from a trunk door flying down and hitting their head due to the wind? Ever slid too late while running to second, only to trip over the base and pull a few ligaments? Don’t worry, I have been there and done both. Make sure to watch your finger if you get it slammed into a screen door. Turns out a tetanus shot may be needed, as well as some medicine to help fix a slight issue with possible blood poisoning. I have not only worked on perfecting the penguin waddle during the winter months, but mid-summer too. Who would have thought that rainy weather and an old wooden deck aren’t a good combination with my walking skills? I am so ever grateful for the medical providers, friends, and family that helped me through that doozy of a fall that actually resulted in a few hematomas and a couple surgeries a few years back. I am just now starting to be able to enjoy looking, hearing, and smelling the rain again without having anxiety.

Now I want to be clear. It is not just stubbing of a toe or falling accidents that I endure. However, with the recent calls and emails from AARP and entities selling med alert devices, one would think different. I actually spend a majority of my time in life praying, with the added in wishing on eyelashes, dandelions, pennies, and shooting stars. Why the need for all of the positive vibes? Luck, that is what. Luck and positive mojo that I am going to find my keys, my vehicle is going to start, some appliance is not going to break down, and that I am not going to have a piece of clothing rip while I am presenting to a classroom full of adolescents. I have embraced the fact that I am THAT person. The one that will roll with the punches when I encounter a mishap, a bad day, or an unfortunate chain of events. I learned to laugh it off, and often share the insanity with others. I seem to be a hit with folks on social media too. Most people’s comments can’t believe these silly things actually happen to me. Others have come to expect nothing less. Even my own family gave me bubble wrap, baby wipes, and other fun humorous safety-themed gifts for Christmas last year. We all got a chuckle out of it.

There are a few things that I have learned while being clumsy and accident-prone. It hurts; physically, socially, emotionally, and financially. Clearly I have battle wounds. Those heal though, slowly but surely. That down time does a number on you, personally and with others. I finally am getting back out there and socializing again (outside of work). It all can be EXPENSIVE! Thank goodness I have great insurance, and added some AFLAC for back-up to assist with my trips to the doctor, chiropractor, and whatever other remedy I need to get myself fixed back up.

This “adulting” thing is already hard. Then when you add in days with a “trifecta” of “oops” moments, it makes it even more damaging on the wallet. These incidents can also be embarrassing.

Even if they don’t happen in public, there is usually someone watching or within earshot to hear the shame. This is why I have opted to go ahead and just share my crazy adventures with whomever wants to read it or listen. As I blew out birthday candles, I wished and hoped for positive changes. On that list just may be for this accident-prone busy bee-lady to be a little luckier. On the other hand, life would be a bit duller without all of these not so tall-tales from yours truly.


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